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i have sat on the couch too much today. i have lost one pound this week.  my spacebar doesn't always work on the right side.
tomorrow we'll go for a walk and exercise and enjoy the perfect weather more.

tomorrow we will clean.
things i am mostly concerned about these days are dieting, losing weight, getting in shape, not sitting on the couch too much, better posture...
the week before last my head constantly felt swimmy and floaty and i felt numb, literally, and nervous.  anxious.  i think it was from drinking coffee every morning again.  i had to go back to weekend only and this week i felt better. i was also eating super low carb then and this week i upped it a bit, so...

i keep looking at cars. i want a new car.  not for the material aspect, but something i can get in and drive drive drive all the way home without the worry of being roadside stranded.
i should get up.

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light



last weekend i did that thing where you go a little crazy and chop off all your hair.  gaby helped me out and chopped off all the rest.

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wearing: top - old navy / black jeans - bdg via urban outfitters / shoes - express

a nice simple saturday.  two cups of coffee and a tiny bit of cleaning.  finished writing my about the author andacknowledgements for the book.  looked at lots of dresses online.  watched an ok daved mamet movie on tv. made stuffed mushrooms and a salad. i want to read a little and maybe start watching veep.  or just get in bed with m and watch an episode of peep show and fall asleep.

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wearing




wearing: jacket - kmart / dress and belt - target / shoes and necklace - catos
since my days have changed and my size, too, i thought i'd start documenting my outfits again.  doing so in the past helped me learn what worked best, so here's to hoping it'll work that way again.  the dressing style at the office ranges from formal business to slightly business casual - depending on meeting days and goings on. 


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it's been a while

but i got that job.  the one i really wanted.  and it's been great.  i'm really happy and really excited and really into it all.  i don't know if i ever really expected to feel that way.  ever. 

a new schedule has been an adjustment.  waking up before 7 am is something different.  going to bed before midnight is too.  but it hasn't been too bad.  i like making my lunches and putting out my clothes the night before.   
the patterns for the book are finished.  we're in the editing and photography stage.  em sent me sneaks of the photos and they're beautiful.  this project has felt a bit quick and my confidence was shaky, but after seeing them i know it'll be fine.  i just need to get on the ball with my intro and acknowledgements.

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sleep

what a busy month.  book #2 deadline approaching august 1st.  picking up extra hours and working every weekend of july.  i really love my job, but between the two i'm more than exhausted.  though a life of crocheting and libraries isn't exactly terrible.

the big interview is tomorrow.  i've never prepared more for an interview than i have for this one.  rewriting and editing my resume, hours researching, reading public library journals and blogs, practicing interview answers... many qualified people are applying and i'm nervous.  i can't recall ever being as excited about the potential for a position as i am for this one though.  we'll see.  

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wanting

thursday i have a job interview for a position i really want and feel really excited about.  something i'd really like to do and something with potential for growth and something a little bit creative. i've been preparing the past few days, but i never feel prepared enough.  my nerves, they always get the better of me.  in preparation i trimmed my bangs and cut them too short. 

pull it together. 

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all the things

things i am wanting and should not buy:
-the free people galloon lace halter bra in graphite. or maybe the racerback.
-a black crossbody purse.
-black block heel sandals.
-two dresses from asos that i have been eyeing all summer and are now on sale.
-green trousers that are sold out in my size at old navy.
-these white sunglasses that i ordered from uo but they sent me someone's black flats instead that i had to return and still never got my sunglasses but a refund instead. 
-a small steam wand
-a new car
-a bajillion house renovations and/or a new house

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2012

My laptop is out of commission, and it may be a few more weeks or months before I'm able to afford a new one. So that's why I haven't been around.  I hate spending so much on electronics when I know they won't last or will be out of date so quickly, and right now I'm more into the idea of buying rugs and curtains and dressing up our house than spending it on a computer.  So here I am sneaking time away on my boyfriend's laptop and filling out this little end of year survey which is like something I would've done years ago on livejournal.  I'm going to try to tuck enough away over my next few paychecks and I'm sure once I'm back I'll bombard this space with a million photos, but for now...

What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?

Had a book released.  Cooked a turkey.  Had my own garden.  Knit a hat.  Got a massage.

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Some.  Mostly made birthday related things - a 31 for 31 deal.  Read 12 books as I wanted, which isn't much, but I'm really thrilled about getting into books and reading again.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, but expecting a new niece in a few weeks.

Did anyone close to you die?

Not this year, but randomly found out about a friend who died a few years ago.  I think it affected me more than I thought it would. It was a little bit of a shock to come across it so randomly and to learn that the timing was so close to the last time I'd seen him.

What countries did you visit?

None other than the one in which I live.

What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Internal peace.  Happiness.  Less struggle with meeting basic living expenses.  Motivation.  

What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The night M proposed out of the blue.  So unexpected and sweet.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

 The success of the book was a pleasant surprise.  I really wasn't sure how well it'd be received, but I'm happy it's selling so well.   

What was your biggest failure?

Lack of motivation.  Lack of caring.  Not accomplishing things that needed to be done in a timely manner.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Began to experience effects from all the time I've spent stitching.  Knots in back which massage therapist described as "not healthy".  Neck and shoulder pains.  Headaches.  Nerve damage which led to 1/2 my face going numb.  Some numbness and loss of feeling in hip/thigh.  A cold tingling feeling in my forearms. Another reason why I decided to search for employment outside of crafting.

What was the best thing you bought?

New sofa.  I've hated our old plaid monster of a couch for so long, so I broke down in December and used my craft show and Christmas money for a new one.  Just that little improvement has made our living area so much more enjoyable and relaxing.  It's funny the affect your surroundings can have on you.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

Our pup, Lilbit.  When we got him this time last year he was a timid shivering dog who never wagged his tail and would take quite a bit of coaxing to come near for a petting.  Now he'll jump into our laps and kiss our noses and the day he started wagging his tail at us was well worth the wait.  I'm happy that he seems happier and settled with us.

Where did most of your money go?

Clothing.  Bills.  Yarn. 

What song will always remind you of 2012?

Sentimental Lady/Bob Welch
Overheard/Mississippi Charles Bevel

Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder?  i'm not sure.  after finding employment, certainly more relaxed and less stress.
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter.  fatty fat fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? about the same, but more financially secure now with a steady income flow.

What do you wish you'd done more of?

Ate more sushi.  Organization.  Focus.  Motivation.  Exercise.  Purging of things.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Sitting around.  Laziness.  Depression.  Buying clothes.

How did you spend Christmas?

At home with M, just the two of us.  We cooked a Christmas Eve dinner and stayed up into the wee hours of the morning when a friend dropped by for a visit.  We woke for Christmas right before noon and had coffee and presents and spent most of the day lazing about.

Did you fall in love in 2012? 

Stayed in, fell out, fell in - over and over again.

What was your favorite TV program?

I had intense relationships with the following shows this year:  Mad Men, Downton Abbey, Breaking Bad, Damages, Peep Show, The Larry Sanders Show, Friday Night Lights

What was the best book you read?

Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield.  
Butterfly in the Typewriter by Cory MacLauchlin.
Just Kids by Patti Smith

What did you want and not get?

Organization.  Motivation.  Full-time employment.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

31 -   ate apples and cheese and drank wine.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

It all comes back to the motivation again.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

Realized the basics of my wardrobe and took notice of the pieces that got the most wear.  Leaned toward classic pieces with edge.  Experimented with bohemian style over the summer since it's easiest for layering and loose flowy materials are perfect for the hot weather for someone who likes to cover certain flawed areas like I do.  Drifted away from vintage/thrift shopping a little bit.  Had to acquire more work-appropriate items.  Also had to learn to dress my new body and confront its changes throughout the year.

What kept you sane?

Alcohol.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Miley Cyrus's new haircut

What political issue stirred you the most?

Women's issues and the appallingly backwards views towards them.

Who did you miss?

My family.  Very much.

Who was the best new person you met?

I'm happy to be working again, so my co-workers in general I suppose.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

Became more at peace with the idea of aging.

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early to bed

it feels as though tonight is sunday and tomorrow morning i'll have to wake and go into work.  it doesn't feel as if there are two more days of weekend to enjoy.  i had intended to stay up early into the morn again and get the pieces for this wholesale order tagged and woven and ready to go, but after a night of music and beer with an out-of-town friend who unexpectedly dropped by my eyes are feeling heavier than i wanted them to by this time.  i've got the audio of the mark twain autobiography playing on my phone which i was hoping would push me along through my tasks once i became engrossed in the story, but well over an hour into it the reader is still only at the intro which seems awfully repetitive at the moment and his voice is not my favorite.

earlier today the three of us finally ventured out to the new whole foods.  we walked up and down each aisle and i bought mint shampoo and a bottle of beer for m.  m bought mint shower gel and a box of christmas cookies for c.

once home i found my new stamp for softspoken waiting for me in the mailbox.  i'm hoping this will cut down on my constant need to order new business cards and hangtags.  a box of yarn was also waiting so i was able to get further along in this wholesale order.  i also have the big crafty coming up next sunday and a smaller craft show not next thursday but the next, so things are beginning to feel hectic.  hopefully i'll be able to keep up.  i've been trying to avoid taking on too much this holiday season -  only trying to stick with what i feel i can safely handle.  things pile on so quickly though - this time of year, especially.

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