adam and i may be breaking up. we might be breaking up. may be. i don't know. he wants to take a break for three months while he is in portland. two months. three months. does taking a break work? have you ever successfully taken a break? is taking a break the prelude to breaking up?

does he want to see other girls are we going to see other people? i want to know the RULES. i ask him for the RULES and he tells me i suppose that is part of it and my heart just breaks breaks breaks because he wants to take a break and he wants to take a break like this.

he does not want to talk to me. he does not want to talk to me while he is away.

i disgust him with my questions. he said "you disgust me with these questions." i'm sorry i can't stop asking you. this is me being desperate. this is my heart hurting. this is me losing you. i'm sorry. i'm sorry because i am also disgusting myself. i disgust myself by clinging to you, by clinging to you each time you attempt to leave me. clinging to the you who doesn't want to be with me, it is disgusting.