i drank too much last night. i drank too much last week. i have drink drank drunk more over the course of this week than i have over the course of any other week. except for the morning i threw up in the parking lot of mcdonalds in ruston. it was on a hill and made a stream.

i think it is because i think he loves me when he is drinking. when i am drinking with him.

ok i don't really think he loves me at all. or not how i want. or maybe that's not true at all.

i think i am in love with making it complicated.

sometimes i find i am saying i wish it was like this always. and then it is morning.

i have to get a toothbrush.

i am so afraid of everything being mediocre like this. also i want to be passionate about something besides what concerns my heart.

last night was an exercise in exhibitionism.

i don't really know what i want for myself right now. i mean essentially. i think i mean essentially.

i liked it when we held hands.

i couldn't bring myself to make a decision over purses so i got them all.

some days i feel this way some days i feel that.

i have put myself in a situation.

i want to write someone a letter and tell them how stupid i have been but i can't think of anyone who would want it.

i wonder what the mistake would be.

i am in the passenger seat annoyed when he honks at girls standing on the corner of five points.

i'm going to do a photo dump on flickr.

i am a little uneasy.