highs and lows. high low high low. it's pretty good now it's just that i think about things sometimes. i mean i guess it's pretty good. i have a lot of needs that aren't being met and there's no communication between us to voice that and wow i really hate it when things start sounding like psychology 101. it seems like the answer would be clear. i go back and read a little self content with being alone and maybe if he hadn't come back it wouldn't hurt so much if he were to leave again. that doesn't make sense like that but it's the leaving and the goodbye and the house with no other voice that's the worst part of it. sometimes there are other considerations and maybes and what should i do's. we put on a face of it being good which means me pretending like everything that bothers me doesn't bother me and i try to appease him as much as possible. or as much as i can let myself. i don't do everything but i can't say there aren't annoyances. and i dont know what to think about the other about if i trust him. yes and no i guess. i think it's an untrustworthy way to go about things if it is an issue that i should trust him on.

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