this morning i woke up and first thing
went to the gym. after grits and coffee.
i went to the gym yesterday, too. i'm
making an effort to go to the gym more
than the two times a week i have been doing
because i miss feeling as strong and muscular
as i used to feel.

now i'm waiting on m to get back from picking
up his xrays from the doctor so we can go
sit at barnes and noble and flip through
magazines and craft books while i get anxious
about all the things i want to try to do
and make and never have time for. i wanted
to take photos of my new items today but it's
dreary and grey out and there's no light
coming through the windows. not much, anyway.

and the doctor told m he has arthritis. m wants a
second opinion. this pain has been going on
for months now and everyone says something different
that doesn't seem quite right.

and all i think i want is more layers in my hair.
with all the summer humidity on the way i don't
know if i can pull off the straight sharp look
much longer. i can barely pull it off now before
my ends curl by midday and everything falls apart.
but how will it grow if i just keep cutting away.
at least that's what m asks everytime i show him
pictures of hair on the internet.

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