we are back from the beach and family and father's day
and kitty has sat on my lap for the past two hours while
i looked up websites from my issue of lucky magazine that
i have marked and circled with a red pen. i talked myself
out of everything and now i'm trying to type quietly
because both of the pretty boys in this little house are
asleep. i hear the mattress crunching under m, i've probably
woken him anyway. if not i'm sure kitty will run into the
kitchen and start mewing since she knows i'm about to ready
for bed and she thinks she can con me into a second can of food
but i'm not that easy. tonight at publix i wanted to buy
sushi for m for father's day and when we checked out my wallet
was missing from my purse and my heart thudded and i felt sweaty
and had to put my hands to my face. i was sure i'd left it
at the taco bell in north charleston next to the tall canisters
of tea. luckily instead it was on the kitchen table when we got home.
m bought the sushi and i wrote him a check after my wallet was
safely in my hands. it would not normally be so bad to lose it
but for some reason now i have so much cash around instead
of using my debit card and it seems to always be a stress. i'm afraid
every time i pay for something bills will fall unnoticed to the
ground and before i know it i won't be able to pay rent or buy cat litter.
i am so tired and it's time for bed and also i'm going to be in a
new book and i'm going to be naked and tomorrow i have to mail in my
release forms because they didn't get the ones i sent months ago. it's
this photo and i think maybe i should make scarves like that again but
i have lots of other work to do first instead.

january 30, 2007