janet planet

just now i spent a few minutes searching for photos of janet
planet online. it's become an occassional ritual and still
there are no more photos than the last time or the time before
though somehow i think there should be and i really don't
know why this is something that i do. i wish it were midnight
instead of 1.30 in the morning. the cats are circling below -
there is no canned food and i think maybe they know it now -
their usual time for feeding has passed. i have a hard time
sleeping in our bed alone. m is lying with the little one and
the only options seem the couch or leftover codeine or tylenol
pm maybe. or also 4 am on the internet reading journal entries
from 2004 or all the beat poetry i used to still do like.
fashion blogs are out and i want lists of things you did today
instead of what you wore. or anything at all but today i
went shopping for fish and had dinner with ann and greg and held
c's hand and m is up so now i'll go to bed even though
my side is cold and the cats are still waiting tonight for
dinner.

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